Nope, I don’t mean blog comments. :) I’m talking about “real life” comments people make when they find out I’ve written a book. Everyone has been kind and supportive--they really have. So why do I break into a sweat and fight the urge to run anytime someone approaches and says, “I heard you wrote a book!” Aside from a bit of natural shyness, I think it’s because people have four standard responses to hearing my news, and each of them makes me inwardly cringe for different reasons.
1) “Ooh, what’s it about?”
For some reason I feel extremely stupid talking about my book to people outside of the YA world. Here’s how it usually goes: First I tell them it’s a teen novel, a love story, kind of “girly.” They pause and blink, then smile and nod. My sweat mustache prickles to life as they wait for me to continue. So I tell them it’s about angels and demons and the main character is both angel and demon…and that’s when their heads cock to the side and they go, “Ah, wow, that sounds…interesting.” I feel bad for dashing their hopes that I’ve written something scholarly and literary. And then I feel the need to defend my story by blurting out something ridiculous like, “Well, I’ve been told the kissing scenes are well-written.” *cringe*
2) “Don’t forget about us when you’re rich and famous!”
Ah, the misconceptions of being published. Again I must disappoint acquaintances by admitting I sold my book and rights to an impressive publishing house for a handful of beans. For me, the dream has never been the mansion on the hill. My story has brought me joy, and the dream is to share that joy with others. People don’t realize that the chances of an average author striking it rich are slim to none. And if I were to miraculously become “rich and famous,” please find me and punch me in the face if I forget about you.
3) “When will it be made into a movie?”
Whoa there, buddy. I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself. I don’t even know if my book will be on sale inside bookstores, yet, much less on the big screen. Let's not get our hopes up. Besides, the thought of someone taking creative liberties with my baby is still a little scary.
4) “You’re going to be the next J.K. Rowling/Stephen King/Stephenie Meyer!”
No. Just, no. I’m not. And I’m not trying to be humble here. I’m a huge dreamer, but they are the elite--publishing royalty--and I am a peasant. A happy peasant.
In all seriousness, I appreciate the love and support I've received, despite the awkwardness I experience when it comes to verbalizing. People's enthusiasm is adorable.
Are there any standard responses you receive when people find out you're a writer/author?
Hugs, Wendy :)
LOL! I went through something like this with the big boss at work. He scheduled a career discussion with me and I told him that my goal was to write full time. The first thing he said "Are you going to be the next J.K.Rowling?" and I went red.
ReplyDeleteI told him no and explained how little the average author actual earns.
In general I talk more to people about my short stories in anthologies than my novel when they ask because my novel isn't published yet - and perhaps, like you, I wonder what they will say when they know it's YA SciFi.
Excellent post. I had a relative ask what I was 'doing these days'. When I told him I was a writer, the man rolled his eyes.
ReplyDeleteI told him the premise of my novel (fantasy) and from that point on his condescension was very evident.
Trying to explain the world of a writer is nearly impossible to those who think all we do is write ('how easy is that') and hand the finished MS to a publisher. BOOM! a book squirts out.
Love this post! I just got offered a brandy new contract for my first YA novel (YAY!!!) and most people did not know I was writing. SO when it came out that I got a contract, I would say I got all of the responses and more at work. None of them bothered me! I laughed at them and answered with pride.
ReplyDelete“Ooh, what’s it about?” The Bermuda Triangle! People thought that was cool.
“Don’t forget about us when you’re rich and famous!” I already have - who are you?
“When will it be made into a movie?” As soon as Hollywood calls, I'll let you know.
“You’re going to be the next J.K. Rowling/Stephen King/Stephenie Meyer!” And when I am, I'll have a pizza party at my mansion!
See? Have fun with it! Enjoy this ride!
Nice approach!
DeleteYes! Yes! Yes! Actually, I don't tell anyone outside of family members (only close family members)about my writing dreams. (and of course my wonderful internet writing friends :) )The 'OOh! What's it about?' is hard just because everyone I know is older or serious or simply not into MG fantasy or science fiction at all. They'd think I'm crazy, if I told them the premise.
ReplyDeleteAnd the other responses... well, I mostly have the impression that they think I'm crazy and that everything they say is an attempt to be polite.
When my first book is under contract then I'll yell it to all! Then I'll love being crazy.
Yep. Those are the exact comments I receive.
ReplyDeleteAll through my teen years I never told anyone about my writing, and my parents were under strict orders not to tell. But now that I'm an old woman, people would seriously wonder why I don't have life, unless I told them a little bit. But if a story is being written, I just tell them it's a secret and I'm not telling anyone what it's about. Which is true.
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ReplyDeleteSharon, Huntress and T.Drecker, it's hard to explain, right? Especially the fantasy elements.
ReplyDeleteCongrats, Kimmy! I wish my personality was more like yours! It's hard to be an introvert, haha. And I don't want to get people's hopes up (especially my mom's, who's been yelling about her "famous" daughter from the rooftops!)
Omg I've got some EPIC love for this post going on!!! :D
ReplyDeleteSince I'm not yet published (still stalking agents) a few of my usual cringe-questions are different, such as:
'Oh when's it coming out?' or 'What's it called, I'll buy it!' Those make me cringe just because there's that awkward "I told them I AM a writer, but now I'm telling them I'm not 'actually' published and they won't get it" moment.
Then there's the: "Oh, well if you haven't gotten an agent with what you wrote, why don't you write a story inspired by Twilight? Or maybe like just write one set in the same world as those Hunger Games things. That's not copyrighted is it?' Uh, yeah, someone really did suggest that. Another one along the same lines was: 'Just send your ms to EVERY agency. I mean, that Meyers person got hers picked up off of someone's desk right?'
Oh the agonies and hysterias of people who are trying to helpful :)
Rain, I never talked about my writings to anyone except my mom and VERY close friends. But then when my publishing contract became public knowledge, there was no way to dodge the conversations. And people really are so nice; they just don't always "get it."
ReplyDeleteAh, Artemis, the helpful commentary!!! The one I got the most when I was seeking agent representation was, "Why don't you just self-publish?" And then I'd feel the need to try and explain the process and why I wanted to try for a publishing house first, etc. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that bugs the crap out of people is the timing. People actually get kind of annoyed and angry when I say my book isn't available for X ammount of time. "Why so long???" Well, that's just how it is. Sorry. :(
That's one that kills me! The time thing, I mean. Sometimes I get frustrated about the agent hunting (I seem to be stuck in that 'LOVE your writing, it's very commercial, but no thanks' stage of things) and people who are trying to comfort me say things like 'Keep at it, don't worry! You'll get an agent and then it'll be over! Some agent will love you and then you'll get published!' and inside I wail, because 3/4 of the reason I get weepy over snagging an agent is because in my mind, I worry that I'll get an agent and then none of my books will ever sell to a publisher. Writer fears. Seems like we constantly have to fight them back with quill sabers...
DeleteA writer's fears are neverending - they simply change as the process goes. First we're afraid about agents, then publishers, then readers/reviewers. And people outside of the profession cannot understand. That's why it's important to have close writing friends to vent/cry/celebrate with. :)
DeleteAnother thing that's so funny is when I told people last week at work, I kid you not - a few said "What's it about, vampires?" I was like "Vampires? Vampires have been done and already hit it big! I can't compete with that!" And why would they assume vampires? Oh, yeah, because I love Twilight and lent it to half the people at my job...oops!
ReplyDeleteLol - yes! When I'm trying to explain my book I often say, "It's in the same genre as Twilight." (Meaning para/fantasy romance) and then I have to quickly say, "But no vampires or werewolves!" haha. I still love me some vamps and weres, though. Not gonna lie.
DeleteAgree Wendy - I love all creatures paranormal still and would read them even if publishing doesn't want them anymore! Did you read Shiver/Linger? Fantastic!!! And Evernight, and Twilight, and House of Night....ahem, sorry!
DeleteMy MOTHER said those exact words to me when I told her I had signed a book contract on a YA book. "So....it's about vampires?"
DeleteThis is why I don't really talk about being a writer. Although, if I had a novel published, it would be hard to hide it from my family.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I thought about using a pen name if I ever wrote a book. Hubs and the kids are the only ones (offline) who even know that I thought about writing.
ReplyDeleteMatthew and Theresa, although these kinds of comments make me uncomfortable, I think it's worth it to let people know if you're being published. They'll want to support you. :) We writers are a funny bunch, aren't we? We want to be published, and then we want to hide from it, lol.
ReplyDeleteI told my coworkers my name is generic enough that if people hate it I can say "That wasn't me!" and if they love it I can say "I wrote it!" But I have to remember not to use an author photo! haha
DeleteI'm worried people will think I'm pretentious if I tell them I'm a writer (I'm 18, and some people at school tend to raise their eyebrows, especially teachers), so I don't tend to tell people. I also dread that 'What's it about?' question - people think I'm a bit of a homicidal maniac when they hear about my murder/kidnap/revenge contemporary novel, so I'm just vague.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I love writers' communities - no one patronises you ("ooh, that's lovely! You're so hard working - a whole book!") or treats you like you're deluded.
@Kimmy - I know what you mean! When I say the love interest is broken and emotionally untable, they all assume he's an angsty vampire ;)
LOL - darn angsty vampires!
DeleteI used to tell people "I like to write," instead of "I'm a writer." and when they'd ask, "Oh, really? What do you like to write?" I'd be vague and say, "Just fiction stories and stuff." :)
Oh my gosh, I HATE the "what's it about question." I'm so terrible at describing it to people who don't read YA. Great post!
ReplyDeleteGeez, yeah I hate describing my book. It always sounds so childish, especially when a teacher asks me what it's about. Now that I'm taking English classes at University, the TAs are always asking what kind of writing I'm interested it - poetry or short story. When I tell them novel writing they look amused. Which makes me feel sad.
ReplyDeleteBut it's so normal for people to think that young people can't write you kind of get used to it.
Yes, young people and their cute little writing hobby. Grr. Don't you worry, Heather. If my college creative writing classes could have voted which of us was least likely to pubish a novel, they would've voted me. (Hehehe - in their faces! Ahem...sorry.)
DeleteI'm right there with you Heather! When I was in high school (back in the stone ages:) I wrote non-stop. I've been writing novel length stories since I was 14. Back then, whenever anyone asked, I told them 'I write for me, because it makes me happy' rather than 'I want to be a published author'. For some reason, that always got a shrug and a change of subject, rather than raised eyebrows. I'm sure they still thought 'how cute, she writes' but they didn't SAY it.
DeleteI always knew what I wanted to do and that some day I WOULD get published (still working on that) but it was easier just to be the odd duck with the notebook than bother defending the 'aspiring writer' title. Now I've gotten comfortable enough with the writing that I look people square and say 'I'm a writer and one day I'll be published'. Now it doesn't matter what they say about it, I just smile, pick up my pen and go back to writing :)
This. Is. So. Accurate. At my last interview, they asked me about what I write, and I froze, and I was like "It's... uhhh... well... it's like..." and I had to scramble to come up with something -- and of course, the first response was something like "But it's not like Twilight, right? No vampires, no werewolves?"
ReplyDeletePeople are so funny about learning that about you.
Oooh, yes! That awkward, stuttering moment where you fumble around for an appropriate description! *cringe*
DeleteLOL - my dad thought Sleeper was a vampire book. I tried to explain there was no vampires, but it was a science fiction, but I don't think he got it.
DeleteI've learned to spout out a two or three sentence "pitch" to people when they ask what it's about: "A Faery who's forced to guard the Prince of England. And then she fall in love with him. And there's assassins. And paparazzi." The response is generally a positive one!
ReplyDeleteI think the reactions that bother me the most are condescending ones or hardly any reaction at all. When I tell people that I work part-time at a preschool and write in the afternoons they tend to focus on the preschool job. I think it's just easier for some people to process!!
Oh, another comment that makes me cringe is the inevitable follow-up: Is your book out yet? (Cue internal sobbing that it'll be a whole other year!!!)
Yes, and when you say, "No, it won't be out until such-and-such date," they gasp and ask, "Why so long????" Don't remind us, lol! :)
DeleteGlad you usually get a positive response to your pitch!
I can't believe no one has noted the ultimate comments:
ReplyDelete1. You're a writer? I have a great idea for a book.
2. Oooo, I've always wanted to be a writer OR
3.Oooo, I've been thinking about writing a book.
My usual response: Nod and smile and refill my glass
My dream response: "Let me explain something to you, cowboy: your idea for a book is not great, it's stupid. I know this because YOU are stupid and stupid people have stupid ideas. You can't want to be a writer, you either write or you don't. It's not like winning the lottery or going to Bali. Pick up a pencil and write, you schmuck. You've been thinking about writing a book? That's interesting because I've been thinking about designing an urban power grid/matching some borrowers to some great mortgage products/doing brain surgery or whatever it is YOU do. Maybe we should switch jobs for a day.
Whoa, Gabrielle! I haven't gotten those responses, thankfully, but I've had a few people who tell me they've started books and they're curious about the process. I didn't list that one because it doesn't make me cringe. When I find out they write and want to talk shop, I'm all about it. If someone were to tell me they want to be a writer I'd say, "Well then, write! No excuses."
DeleteYes! I regularly get "I've always thought about writing a book." and I'm like "Oh, okay."
DeleteThis post is made of, win, Wendy! LOL. SOOOOO feel you on this. I've heard all those comments or felt strange talking about what I write too.
ReplyDeleteI'm SO SO SO SO SO with you!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd then people who read my stuff are like - they should make a movie about this!! I can totally see it as a movie!! And I sort of laugh and think that they probably don't read much, because not ALL STORIES NEED TO BE TOLD ON THE SCREEN, lol.
But yeah. It's HARD. It's like my book descriptions are too long or too short.
hard.
Mine is very dad-specific. He'll ask what I've been up to, and I'll say, "Working a lot. . . " And he'll quickly say, "You got a job?" No, Dad, it's the same old writing career, and even the same book. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteYes. They don't understand that it's a process. Sometimes a LONG process. *sigh*
DeleteI hate "Are you going to publish it?" Um... how am I supposed to answer that without explaining the entire publishing industry
ReplyDeleteI feel the SAME way about #1!! LOL.
ReplyDeleteMe: "hmmm, cyborgs?"
Other person: *nods* "oh...cool"
Me: "It's not as lame as it sounds."
Yeeeeeees to all of this!
ReplyDeleteAlso, some of my least favorites:
"Am I in it?"
"When can I read it?"
"Didn't you ALREADY write a book? What happened to that one?"
Have you seen Jackson Pearce's Stuff Non-writers Say video? I felt like a bobble-head from nodding so much.
I think the trick is in sounding super excited when you talk about it. When coworkers asked about my book, I got a big grin and started chattering away-"This girl goes on a cruise...." and they seem to respond positively. If you act excited and confident, they seem to take you seriously. And guys - we are all doing something extremely hard that nonwriters just don't get. SO be proud of what you do and of your work, whether its about murder or vampires or cats or chocolate! I read that only 1% of people actually complete an entire novel. We can all pat ourselves on the back for being a part of that tiny group and doing something so difficult and wonderful at the same time. Good luck to all of us!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I've gotten all of those. I also hate, "You're going to be famous!" It feels patronizing to me. I also have come to hate, "How's it going with your writing?" I know it's a simple one, but to people who don't understand the long, painful process, there is no good answer. I just feel like they're asking me why I'm not in Barnes and Noble yet. Thanks for letting me vent!
ReplyDeleteAh, it's nice to discuss with people who understand. *high fives* Cheers to my writing peeps. :)
ReplyDeleteMy stuff tends to be more literary but it can be hard to explain to non writers. When I was younger, I didn't like to talk about how I write novels. I would just say "poems and short stories". But my mother would mention that I would write novels too and then people would ask questions. I didn't know how to answer them. Also I focued more on paranormal action stories, while I read Dracula, girls read Twilight.
ReplyDeleteAlso some times when you are much younger, people don't tend to take you seriously. My passion for books has always been precieved by some as strange. I am a more of a reserved person by nature so it can be a little uncomfortable for me to talk about my writings. Also if I want to talk about my work, I would prefer if I had a finished edited version.
And in general people don't know how complicated the publishing process is. I would very much like to be a full time writer but I know that the odds are very slim. I pretty much write in my spare time, it's kind of a hobby. And if something comes out of my writing, and I get published, that would amazing.
Also my current story Departed Innocence is about angels, demons, vampires, and werewolves not to mention its a satire. I think it would be hard to explain all of that without going into a lot of detail about the story itself. It's kind of complex, it can't be summarized that well.
Great article, Wendy:)
A paranormal satire! That sounds amazing!
DeleteOne of the worst things adults can do is underestimate youth. The work of children and teens tends to be vibrant, passionate, and lively - and should be taken seriously.
Yes Wendy, Departed Innocence is a satire. I'm glad you are interested. I am trying to finish the final rewrite for Departed Innocence before I go on my vacation. I'll post more about it on blogspot.
ReplyDeletenice post great blog
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rajeev!
Delete