Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

How Writers' Self-Doubt can Bleed into Other Areas of Your Life and How to Stop It

Let's talk about Self-Doubt. 

You know the monster. All writers (artists really) have battled it when it rears its fowl head. It's so unpredictable and devastating. One minute you're cruising along, fingers flying across the keyboard, and the next you're curled into a ball, slurping ice cream with a straw, and wondering if your words are worth anything. It's normal (or is it just me?).

What isn't normal is letting that self-doubt seep like a poisonous tea into other waters of your life. I've struggled to maintain control like so many others. Yet I've had this crippling issue move its way into my parenting, my spiritual sphere, and my other relationships. How do we damn it up? How do we curb it in the first place?

What it comes down to is tripping up the thoughts that build up self-doubt and then resisting the pull to stay there.

Get Some Support

Surrounding yourself with people either going through the same thing or enthusiastic about you and your writing will lessen self-doubt and keep it at bay. Getting involved in a local writers group, plugging into online support through twitter, facebook groups, or other blogs with feedback and encouragement are all great examples. Even taking writing breaks or chatting with a non-writer friend about your self doubt and being affirmed can help.

Think Happy Thoughts

Coping mechanisms for non-writers can work for writing self doubt as well. Do things you love between drafting or edits will keep you from being hard on yourself. Reread parts of your manuscript that you love, such as snappy dialog or beautiful imagery. Chances are if you love it, your critique partner/agent/publisher/fans will too. Even a few good laughs, time with pets or loved ones, or cute cat pictures on Facebook will do in a pinch.

Don't Rely on "If Only"

It's easy to do the "if only" mind process and try to focus on how you'll be better at things if you only had an agent, a book deal, etc... but the truth is even the most successful author deals with whether what they have written is worthy of their fans. Just because a writer has an agent or has published a book doesn't mean they are free from uncertainty.

Things to Remember

When I'm being rough on myself, these are what I try to remind myself:
  • Every writer feels like this once in a while
  • I will be successful if I keep at it
  • No one can tell my story like I can
  • I really want someone to read my work
  • I'm writing because I love it
  • I can do this! 
Every one of these statements is true for every writer, so use them over and over. Stop self doubt so you can meet your writing goals and enjoy every moment.

What are you're stragedy for dealing with self doubt? Please tell us in the comments!

---

E. G. Moore is a poet, freelance writer, and storyteller (the first of which her mom still has recorded on a cassette tape.)  She is a long distance member of For Pete’s Sake Writers Group in Washington, active in an email writer’s response group, and a Rocky Mountain Chapter SCBWI member. When she’s not telling “Mommy Made stories” to her two daughters or nagging her husband to edit her latest manuscript, she can be found off-roading in her suped-up ATV, baking some scrumptious bread, or in a long, plot-refreshing bubble bath. She’s represented by Jessica Schmeidler of Golden Wheat Literary. E.G. Moore tweets, posts on Facebook, and blogs at: www.emilygmoorewriter.blogspot.com


 

Friday, May 2, 2014

Big Fat Phony

So I've been writing for almost five years and in that time I've drafted over ten novels, a couple novellas, and some short stories. Four of my novels will NEVER see the light of day. NEVER.

In the beginning (when I didn't know any better) I thought I was the shit. Seriously. I was so proud of everything I wrote. I guess it's sort of like a kid mastering riding a bicycle by herself. I wanted everyone to look and cheer for me.

As time when on, I realized I really sucked. Like, sucking donkey balls kind of sucked. I didn't want anybody to see what I wrote. I wanted to quit. But somehow I forged on. Then I got a publishing deal. Then two. Then three. Then four and five.

So exciting!

But even after seeing four books, two novellas, and three short stories hit the virtual shelves, I still feel like a Big Fat Phony.



Frequently, I wonder why.

Is it because I'm falling for the stigma that small press books are substandard (when they're not)? Is it because I always feel like the underdog and that's a personal battle I need to overcome (probably so)? Is it because I haven't hit the best sellers list (really, I never thought I would anyway, so why am I flaking over that)? Is it because I still see that agent's feedback that I'll never get published and no one would ever want to touch my books floating in the back of my mind (yep, I still think about that way too often)?

I'm NOT writing this post to garner sympathy from you guys, but I AM writing it because I know I'm not the only writer/author/artist/creative type who's felt this way. Seriously, how many memes have you seen highlighting the low self-esteem of artists and how that means they're the REAL ARTISTS?

Why can't we believe in ourselves? Is it an attempt to avoid the dreaded Swollen Head Syndrome, lest we become blind to our own faults and lose the ability to accept feedback and hone our skills? Is it because the idea of sharing our work is TERRIFYING? Is it because we fear that someone will just rip our book/novel/short story apart, thereby figuratively murdering our creative self? Is it because non-best seller books or poorly selling books means failure?

I'm sure it's a bit of all of those things.

Honestly, all these fears and self-doubts are enough to crush anyone, sort of like when people keep walking on new shoots of grass--being constantly tread on will stifle growth and eventually kill you.

Yet grass grows, despite the odds. And so, too, do writers and authors.

I think it's because of the following attributes that all writers seem to have: Inspiration, hope, persistence, striving to improve skills, and, yes, that pesky trait of positive thinking.

I find that amazing.

I find that surprising that I'm a part of that group. I guess that means I'm a real writer and not a phony after all.

I don't know if any of this will strike a cord with anyone, but I hope it does.

Thanks for reading.

******


Laura Diamond is a board certified psychiatrist and author of all things young adult paranormal, dystopian, and horror. She’s a lucid dreamer, meaning she can direct her dreams while they’re happening. When she’s awake, she pens stories from her dreams and shares them with her readers. Laura has many published titles including the Pride Series (New Pride, Shifting Pride, and Tsavo Pride), the Endure Series (Endure and Evoke), The Zodiac Collector, a novella Sunset Moon in the Lore anthology, and several shorts stories. When she’s not writing, she is working at the hospital, blogging at Author Laura Diamond--Lucid Dreamer, and renovating her 225+ year old fixer-upper mansion.

If you’re interested in reading more about me, or interacting with me on the web check out the following links:

Author Laura Diamond: www.authorlauradiamond.com

Hope to “see” you soon!