The Challenges of Being a Writer and an Extrovert

 
We all know the stereotype of the lone writer, laboring away at his opus in a dark corner, shunning all human contact. While it’s not completely accurate for most of us, this stereotype exists for a reason: Many writers are introverted. An unscientific poll of my Twitter writer-friends revealed that 92% of those who responded consider themselves introverts – and these are people who choose to interact on social media daily.

I am so far away from that “I,” I honestly cannot imagine what it’s like. I can academically know that introverts prefer less social activity, but I will never truly understand it. Just as introverts can never truly understand my rampant need for human interaction, how I feed off the energy of others working around me, how I only take pleasure in knowing or enjoying something if I can share and discuss it with others.

Introverts “recharge” by quietly drinking tea at home and I “recharge” by surrounding myself with and talking to as many people as I can manage.

My ideal writing situation is sitting at a table in a public place with 2-4 other writers tapping their keys along with me. As you can imagine, my extroverted tendencies present some serious challenges to my writing:

• I CANNOT stand to sit at home alone. I fidget. I’m easily distracted. My blood pressure literally rises. I call friends for dinner, lunch, watching a movie, anything. It’s like the opposite of social anxiety.
• I’m a joiner and belong to a lot of groups. I also like to organize so I end up organizing a lot of groups. Bye bye free time.
• I want to accept every social invitation that comes my way. And since I (by design) have a lot of friends, there are no days without social invitations. Every day I am not at a social event, it’s a conscious hard-made decision.
• But the biggest challenge about being an extrovert is: The rest of you are not! I want to meet you in person, have coffee and talk about books. I want you to meet me at the library and sit in a group while all of us write, feeding off each other’s creative energy. Like, every day.

Twitter is a great middle of the road for us, but it’s not nearly the same. It’s like when you’re craving chocolate and all you have is a tootsie roll.

I just wanted to leave you with some tips about how I handle being an extroverted writer, for the handful of us out there. And let me know how you handle it, too!

• Join a local writers group or three. Yeah, that two hours a week is the upper limit for a lot of introverts and is barely an appetizer for us, but it is much better than nothing. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find someone to have in-person writing sessions with.
• Put a strictly-defined limit on your socializing. Depending on the week, I’ll tell myself that I can only plan/accept social invitations three or four nights that week. Something else pops up that I really want to go to? OK, I can go – if I write for no less than an hour before I leave.
• Don’t limit your working partners to writers. There are other people – like web designers, students, graphic artists, programmers – who also have quiet work they can do from anywhere. Having one of them working next to me is just as effective as a writer.
• Fake it. If you can’t find anyone to write with you, go to a crowded starbucks, mall food court or café. For me, it’s not as good as working “with” other people, but it does help ease my anti-social anxiety. 
• If ^ that's not possible (because, for example, you're a night owl and all these places are closed when you're writing), try writing with the TV & music on. It sounds crazy, I know, but it helps me sometimes.
• Remember: the time is going to come for a conference or for you to promote your book. You may envy the introverts while writing, but your preferences for human interaction are really going to help you shine when those opportunities arise.

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