tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202274659436317634.post3854886940204154655..comments2023-12-02T05:59:27.143-05:00Comments on YAtopia: First 250 Words Work Shop: #Y8 - Hope RobersonSM Johnstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03546994863993080465noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202274659436317634.post-65375566051600553552012-03-29T09:33:54.620-04:002012-03-29T09:33:54.620-04:00Yay Hope! LOVE this story. She's such a fantas...Yay Hope! LOVE this story. She's such a fantastic writer. :)Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06373650788799372118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202274659436317634.post-11715218150882698812012-03-29T07:18:40.772-04:002012-03-29T07:18:40.772-04:00Aha...I have seen this one before. In fact I have ...Aha...I have seen this one before. In fact I have seen it improve over the past couple of months. I like where it is at, and I love the above suggestions. My only addition is....<br /><br />'yet it didn’t keep me from stepping off the gravel path or walking into the field.' --- I would change 'or' to 'and'. This is just mo, but 'or' makes me think, one OR the other. AND makes me think she steps off the path AND walks into the field. :)<br /><br />---Great job with this. I like the tension.Amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00368485571268832781noreply@blogger.com