tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202274659436317634.post7153796548761482826..comments2023-12-02T05:59:27.143-05:00Comments on YAtopia: First 250 Words Work Shop: #Y15 - Kat EllisSM Johnstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03546994863993080465noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202274659436317634.post-45900605185687499152012-04-02T17:41:40.041-04:002012-04-02T17:41:40.041-04:00Yes, you got all the important stuff, which is def...Yes, you got all the important stuff, which is definitely reassuring! Thanks for the great suggestions, I'm going to work in descriptions of the roach and the landscape to give a better sense of the surroundings, so hopefully that'll fix it.Kat Ellishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12263183221725778043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202274659436317634.post-15462420394177678402012-04-02T17:15:49.998-04:002012-04-02T17:15:49.998-04:00Ah yes, isn't that the dream, Kat--to get your...Ah yes, isn't that the dream, Kat--to get your work back with no changes? ;)<br /><br />But I have to agree with Sarah that this is the kind of action-packed opening scene that works great on film but less so on the page. I was a little lost as well, but I think I caught some of the important things you were trying to get across: this is not their first battle, Michael is perhaps not like Beth and Saul, and yet Beth is more emotionally empathetic to Michael than Saul. <br /><br />Can you keep those bits while giving us a better idea of the size and layout of the roach/vehicle and its placement?Angelica R. Jacksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09448717076699744259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202274659436317634.post-66490925507610654742012-04-02T12:32:34.670-04:002012-04-02T12:32:34.670-04:00Thanks Sarah, I think I can really work with your ...Thanks Sarah, I think I can really work with your comments (and no worries about the glitch!)<br /><br />Thanks again.Kat Ellishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17470538757006458634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202274659436317634.post-21289269189263330212012-04-02T12:16:17.023-04:002012-04-02T12:16:17.023-04:00Sorry! We had a minor miscommunication. But it'...Sorry! We had a minor miscommunication. But it's up now with my comments!Sarah Nicolashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11006982668067292031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7202274659436317634.post-90512258239703419102012-04-02T09:27:35.863-04:002012-04-02T09:27:35.863-04:00Really pleased to see my entry up here (thanks guy...Really pleased to see my entry up here (thanks guys!), but I'm assuming no crit comments is not a good thing... ;)Kat Ellishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17470538757006458634noreply@blogger.com